Talk about fussy!

There sure is some fussy peeps in this world isn’t there? And I think most of them were at the same wedding as me on Saturday, lol!

I should have realised it was going to be one of those days as soon as the bride arrived at the church. The car pulled up and whilst I was turning my camera on and sorting my settings out she went and climbed out. Well that was no good! I needed a shot of her in the back of the car with her father. So I had to make her clamber back in. She wasn’t very happy because she thought her dress was getting all crumpled. Well I dont know why she was blaming me, she shouldn’t a gone getting out then should she?

Anyway we got that over and done with and then we entered the church for the ceremony. It was pretty dim inside the church but fortunately I’d remembered to charge my batteries so my little pop up flash would work. I was busy running back and forth and from side to side around the back of the altar getting pics of the faces of the bride and groom from different angles as they looked at each other when the vicar suddenly stopped the ceremony to request I cease taking photos. “I’m just doing my job” I protested. But he maintained I was causing a distraction to the proceedings and demeaning the dignity of the occasion. Heck! Talk about fussyrella! Anyway I got my own back afterwards when we did the signing of the register photos. After the couple have signed the register it is traditional for the minister to hand over to the photographer so he can set a few shots up. Well firstly, with the bride and groom seated at the table, I made the vicar stand on their left…then I made him stand on their right…then I made him stand behind right in between them…then I asked him to perch on the edge of the register desk (which he refused to do, lolz)…then I made him hold the brides bouquet while I photographed the bride and groom and their witnesses, which he was non too happy about, giggle…and finally when I’d finished I took a close up of his big, red, grimacing face! lmao.

We arrived at the hotel for the reception at 3pm. Because I was busy photographing the newly weds as they walked up the red carpet into the hotel I accidentally backed into the waitress holding the champagne glasses almost knocking her over and spilling all the plonk. Yikes!

The formal photographs were scheduled for 3.30-4.30pm and the couple requested a ‘Big Group’ photograph of all the guests. The hotel manager said we could do this on the huge lawn at the rear of the building, so we duly made our way around the back. It took a while setting everybody up as they were all milling around yapping with one another and not paying any attention to me as I was trying to arrange them all. In the end I had to cup my hands around my mouth and bellow “Shut the hell up you muppets!” at the top of my voice. That seemed to do the trick and enabled me to get everyone standing to attention in regimental lines for a nice military style group photograph.

Afterwards the couple wanted some family shots so I moved them over to this section of the gardens with a really beautiful back ground of flowers. It took me a while getting everything as I wanted it, as I’m a stickler for spick and spanness, but we got there in the end. I’m a bit miffed at the mother of the bride though I must say. The newly weds aren’t back off honeymoon yet so I had to send the photographs to the brides mother. She phoned me yesterday complaining that in every single group shot everyone has their eyes closed because they are squinting into the sun. Now I admit I hadn’t actually realised that on the day. But surely the beautiful flowery back ground more than compensates??? What a fusspot!

The hotel manager was another fussy so and so, too. He kept coming out and asking me how much longer was I going to be? I said as long as it takes! The wedding photographs are the most important element of the day. However, he reckoned that I’d already overshot the allocated time scheduled for the photographs by more than an hour and if I didn’t hurry up the wedding meal would be ruined. Well, pfffffffff! It was only quarter to six so we weren’t that far behind schedule. And I still had the shots of the bride and groom to do. Well Mr Fussyanna was so put out he went and had a word with the bride and groom rabbitting on about the meal being ready to be served. He caused such a fuss that the couple decided they didn’t have time for any more photos as they didn’t want their guests delayed any further and the day being spoiled. Well I just hope he’s damn proud of himself! The couples wedding album is now going to look pretty crappy and its all HIS fault! Fortunately I was only booked up until the wedding breakfast so I didn’t have to put up with anymore fussy behaviourable problematic people. Pheeeeeeewwwwwwwww! If all my weddings are going to be this tough I think I’ll need to put me prices up, lollllllll.

　

Wedding washout :(

Well I am so upset! I didn’t get any photographs from Saturdays wedding as it rained all day. I was so needing them for my portfolio too! Grrrrrr!

The bride and groom aren’t too happy either. But what the heck can they expect if it rains! ‘You cant take photographs in the rain’ I said repeatedly! I think they have a damn nerve actually. I mean it was raining as soon as I got up Saturday morning and the forecast was for rain all day, so there really wasn’t much point me even going along. But out of respect and to lend my support I decided I would still attend. When the groom saw me arriving at the church the first thing he asked was “where is your camera?” Well I just stared at him in astonishment! Eventually, I pointed at the sky and said “Hellooooooo. It’s raining!”

Well all hell broke loose when the bride arrived and someone told her the photographer wasn’t going to be taking any photos. At one stage I lost count of the number of wallies shouting at me. They must be flippin mental!

Anyways they now reckon they are going to sue me. Well good luck with that is all I can say! lmaoooooo. I don’t even have insurance so they aren’t going to get far with that idea. And even if I did, no judge in their right mind is going come down in favour of them. How the hell can anyone take photographs in the rain??? Its what’s classified as an ‘act of god’. And what exactly are they going to sue me for? I’ve already spent their money, lolllllllll. Anyway this shows the importance of making sure the punters pay their balance upfront so they cant renegade on the deal later on. It’s a good job I got a smart head on me ol’ shoulders, lol.

Anyhow I have a couple of more bookings come in since then so I should get myself my stompping portfolio next time all being well. In the meantime I took a little trip into town and went round some of the professional photographers shops and took some photos of the pictures they had on display in their windows. I’ll be able to use them for my marketing in the meantime. I mean, its not like they are ever going to find out is it? lollllllz

Anyway I apologize for no pics getting posted today but I’ll deffo have some up soon.

My first booking

Got my first wedding booking so I'm chuffed to bits. Especially when they paid! lol That’s one thing I deffo like about the wedding biz…they have to pay upfront, lmao.

Its always hard securing your first booking because you don’t have any sample photos or anything to show prospective punters. And of course you cant tell them you haven’t actually photographed a wedding yet. That wouldn’t be too bright a business move, lol. Anyway, peeps aren’t actually going to know unless they ask. And fortunately most of them don’t have the sense to do that. Hell, they don’t even ask if you’re a genuine professional or how much experience you have or anything! Phewwwwwwww! lolz.

Anyway I’d had a bunch of cool looking business cards made up that give the impression I’m a kosher yowzer pro and also some leaflets. I spent a couple of evenings going round a few newsagents slipping my leaflets into all the bridal and wedding magazines. I managed to get through six major newsagents before anyone caught me and by then I must have done somewhere in the region of 150 individual magazines. So it was a very successful venture.

My first wedding booking however came from a wedding fair. I’ve always wanted to do a major wedding fair. All those dollars - oops, I mean brides ;) - passing through the doors is enough to make me drool, lol. Obviously I cant actually exhibit at a wedding show as I don’t actually have anything to exhibit, hahaaaa. So what I did was stand outside and hand my leaflets and cards out to everyone coming in and out. I also had my camera hanging round my neck too which obviously looked pretty impressive! Many punters stood and had a chat with me and I was able to explain how it would be much cheaper booking me to do their wedding than any of the guys inside. If anyone asked if I could show them any of my photographs I told them to go inside and have good look at all the other wedding photographers and then simply tell me which one they liked and I’d do them exactly the same thing for half the price.

Well one couple were really keen. They’d been given a quote of £990 for 3 hours of wedding coverage and asked if I would do it for half. I said I’d do it for half of half! lmao. Anyway they were delighted and we agreed on £250 with them paying a £50 deposit, which was awesome as it meant a great night for me down the pub! Its quite a large wedding and they were a little concerned that the formal group shots may take quite a long time. But they were reassured when I told them I’d been in the army for a number of years and would have everyone lined up, spick and span and standing to attention in no time at all. They also asked if I would do a recce of the venue in advance of the big day. Well, hell, are they kidding? How do they think I’m going to find time for that? Anyway I wasn’t stupid enough to say that to them so I just “of course, that’s all part of the service”. I mean, its not like they’re gonna find out is it? lollllllll.

I did have a little anxious moment the following morning when I couldn’t find the slip of paper I’d written down their details on. I was sure I’d stuffed it firmly into the back pocket of my trousers, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Anyway it eventually turned up inside the lining of my jacket. How the hell it got their I’ll never know, pmsl!

Anyway the wedding is this Saturday. The £200 balance arrived yesterday, so Friday’s going to be a wowzer night in the pub! I have to remember to pop into Jessops for a new camera battery on my way home from work Friday as the last time I used the camera it was going a bit dicky. I’m hoping the little pop up flash on the camera will work too, especially inside the church where it will be quite dark, because that hasn’t been popping up like it’s supposed to either. Anyway, make sure you check back next week to hear all about it and see all the cool bean piccies!